Those Days At Oxford
by aroseisarose
Summary: As the title suggests, Mulder and his life before the X-Files. Please R&R!
1. Disclaimer, AN, thanks, ect

Author's notes – One thing has always bugged me about the X Files, the fact that Mulder had a wedding band on in the episode "Travelers." I took this unexplained tidbit and came up with a story to explain it. Also I am hoping to explain some of Mulder's little quirks and the like.  Hopefully you all will like it and please review and tell me what you think! They really do help and they make my day…seriously. 

I want to thank all the people who have listened to my insane ideas about this and gave their input. You guys rock and thanks for all your help! 

Disclaimer: This is going to apply all the way though since I don't want to type it out every chapter. I don't own the X Files, any of the characters that are in the series; I also don't own any of the books, movies, songs or television programs that are mentioned. I own the characters you don't recognize, but since I'm not making any money off of them I don't know if you can call that owning them. So please don't sue me!!!!!!

Wow that was a lot…I didn't intend to make it that long, sorry! So on with the story. 

-aroseisarose 


	2. Prologue

Prologue

God, I love you Dessa. Dessa, Dessa, your name keeps rolling around in my mind. I miss you, everything about you—the way that you'd wake me up every morning, the scent of your pillow, how you braided your hair before you went to bed. It seems like forever ago, a lifetime ago that we were together. Maybe it was a lifetime ago, I've become a different person, all due to you. When I first met you I was a dumb kid from the States and four years later I was a happily married man. Now I feel like only a shell of that man that you made me, just an empty and broken shell.

I know I don't talk about you, but it's just that I don't want to open the wound. I've tried to close it, to make the hurt stop, and I don't want to open myself up to that pain. I haven't said your name to anyone since I came back here to D.C. "Dessa Mulder" means nothing to anyone here, except me. I haven't said your name out loud since I got off that plane after your funeral. The only time that I say it is when I dream, or when I cry for you at night. I want you to lay with me and whisper to me like you used to do. 

When I saw you die, I didn't know that pain like that even existed. My soul was torn in half and my heart shattered into a thousand pieces. I should be able tell people about you; I owe it to you, you were my wife. Just like I know I should keep wearing my wedding ring, but I don't.

Like I said, Dessa, I haven't been wearing my wedding ring. It's not that I want to hide you—you were my pride and joy. I'm selfish in that I don't want to open something that hurts so badly. You were everything to be, you made it all better and I don't know how to tell people that.

Part of me wants to go on like I know that you'd want me to. Then there's this other part of me that wants to keep going like this. I can't bring myself to accept the fact that you're dead. I want to tell myself that you've just gone a vacation, maybe to Paris. I'm so sorry that we never went. I swear to you that I was going to take you that summer. 

Sometimes I think I see you on the street here, and I always take a second look. I know it isn't you, you were prettier, more graceful; you carried yourself differently somehow. There are days that I just want you to hold me like you used to do when I thought my life was falling apart. The day you died, that was when I knew my life had fallen apart and no one could comfort me, because I wanted you more than I wanted anything else in my entire life.

I have a partner here; her name is Dana, Dana Scully. I think that I've started to fall in love with her. This love is different from what I felt for you though, Dessa. Maybe it's because I'm older or maybe it's that I won't let myself love a woman how I loved you. I don't think that I can ever feel like how you made me feel again. You would like her Dessa; she's wonderful. She's independent, and she knows exactly what she wants. I'll always love you; there is nothing that can change that. 

Every once and a while I like to remember our story. I always remember it, its burned in to my mind and etched into my being. Our story is what makes me what I am today. I like to think of every detail of you, of us. Young and in love, not listening to anyone. Those days at Oxford when I was with you and there was always a tomorrow filled with potential. 


	3. Chapter One Intoductions

"Hey Beautiful." Fox Mulder said as he sat down on his first day of calculus class at Oxford University. The girl that he'd set his hopes on was on the petite side, but not extremely so. Her long dark hair was down her back and her nose buried in a book.

"Shut up, Handsome!" she said in her British accent, rather testily

"Fox Mulder, pleased to know you."

"Well, Mr. Mulder, I'm really not interested in talking at the moment."

"That's a bit rude, don't you think? I introduce myself and you give me the cold shoulder."

The girl looked up from her book and stared into this Fox Mulder's eyes. She became lost in their deepness and could tell that he was intelligent, but didn't know the first thing about women. If he did, he wouldn't have started off using the "Hey Beautiful" line.

"Dessa Edwards."

"There, was that so hard?"

"You're a rather persistent person aren't you?"

"I'd like to think so Miss Edwards." He said, getting out his text and notebook.

The teacher came in and immediately started the class. Fox became lost very fast, not being able to recall even the most basic details from his senior math class. Dessa on the other hand was thriving. Math had always been her best subject next to history, which she was planning to major in.

For the next ninety minutes Dessa snuck glances at the beautiful man who was sitting next to her. She felt a pang of guilt for being so cold to him, but he did rub her the wrong way. He was handsome but slightly arrogant and that, in Dessa's mind, could be a very dangerous combination.

After class was over, Dessa gathered her texts in her arms and threw the book that she was reading before class on top. Carefully she shifted the books to her right side and grabbed her purse with her left hand. Fox however jammed his books into his backpack.

"Do you need help with that?" he asked, genuinely wanting to help

"I'll manage Mr. Mulder, but thank you none the less."

"Just call me Fox." 

She looked him over one last night, trying to assess him but once again she found herself wrapped up in his eyes.

"Fine then, Fox, until Thursday."

With that Dessa Edwards turned on her heels and walked out of Professor Downson's lecture hall. Fox, instead of going back to his dorm on campus, went to the library. He wanted to better know Dessa; he was very intrigued by her in some way. It really didn't make sense since she was chilly towards him, but Fox couldn't really help it. Right before she left, he looked to find the title of the book that she had been so involved in reading before the lecture.

After searching the library for a good ten minutes, Fox found the book that he was seeking; "The Thorn Birds." Not knowing what it was about and not really caring, he checked it out. When he did so he got a fairly odd look from the librarian but shrugged it off. He was set on finding away to talk to Dessa, and if this book was the means of doing so, then so be it. 

Dessa on the contrary went home to her apartment. It was only a ten-minute bike ride and since it was nice out, she rode in. After setting her books in the basket on the back and placing her purse next to them, she started off to her home.

Knowing that her housemate wasn't home, Dessa took the time to read her book that she had become addicted to. It was her housemate's, Elsie, who'd given her the novel after she herself was done with it. The plot and the exotic settings had drawn her in at first, but it now was the characters' and their lives that kept her attention. 

She didn't give Fox Mulder another thought until that next Thursday when she had class with him. She was too busy with classes, homework, papers, and friends to give him much of a second thought. He was an annoyance, although Dessa did find him attractive. To her it just wasn't worth it, even if he was the most gorgeous guy that she'd seen in a very long time.

Fox spent the spare time that he did have between Monday night and Thursday morning reading and trying to figure out the epic tale.  He found it to be very girlie in some senses but he also appreciated the themes and ideas that came through. Later he'd admit to Dessa how interesting he found the message that was the foundation of the book. Until then, he was just glad that he was meeting Dessa Edwards on her turf.

"Class…" Professor Downson began "I realize that this is rather unorthodox, but since this class is half British and half foreign, an idea stuck me. At the end of each week of this course, I would like to have a team of two present an equation to the class and cover the steps and any necessary theories." She paused for a moment to take a sip of water from the cup that she kept in her stand that she taught from. "Now, I would like the teams to be comprised of one British student and one foreign. Please choose your partner after class. Once you've done that, give your names to me. On Monday I'll give you the problem and the date on which you are to present. With that out of the way, please open your texts to page 21."

"So, Miss Edwards, will you be my partner?" Fox asked in a whisper

"Are you serious?!"

"As always. Now aren't I as diplomatic as Rainer Morling Hartheim?"

Dessa dropped her pen and it rolled on to the floor. Quickly she picked it up and stared this man who was starting to get the best of her, she could feel it already.

"And who would that make me?"

"I don't know. You're as pretty as Meggie, you have Mary Carson's wit, Fee's temperament, Justine's drive, and Anne's compassion."

"You actually read it for me?" she asked, genuinely impressed

"Yeah, I did."

"Well, what the bloody hell, I'll be your partner."

Fox couldn't' help but smile to himself. Maybe things would work out. She obviously appreciated the effort he'd put into trying to impress her, in finding common ground to meet on.

"I'd be honored, Miss Edwards."

"It's Dessa," she said with a wink "Just Dessa."


	4. Chapter Two Invitation

By the time came to work on the calculus project, Fox and Dessa were on very friendly terms. They were to present their problem on the third Wednesday of November. Both of them had seemed to mellow out toward each other since their first meeting. Fox saw Dessa as his equal and she in return came to think of him as her equal. Dessa didn't mind the fact that he was American anymore. In fact since that late August morning, the two had become quite good friends. They developed a very intense understanding of one another and sometimes it almost scared them.

Fox came over to Dessa's apartment to put the finishing touches on their project the night before it was due. Dessa's housemates had moved out and back to her Manchester home three weeks ago. Elise's brother had been involved in a car wreck and left paralyzed from the neck down, so Elise left to go and help her parents manage his care. With only Dessa living in the small apartment, it made an excellent place for the two of them to study and hang out. 

"Dessa?" Fox asked after they had finished the project. They were sitting on the grey-carpeted floor, backs resting on against the sofa and note cards stacked between them. 

"What?" 

"Do you ever wish that you could just fly away and, I don't know, just stop everything? Like there is something so big out there, and you're just going to get sucked into it."

"Don't talk like that! If there is something bugging you, tell me, maybe I can help."

"It's not like that." Fox said, starting to see where this conversation was going

"Then tell me because it bloody hell sounds like you want you kill yourself!"

Dessa had sworn to herself to take care of him, no matter what. Sometimes she went overboard with it, but only because she wanted to help him. He had never spoken about his family so she assumed that Fox and his parents didn't get on all that well. To her, they had become a sort of family, the two of them, and Dessa knew that you protected family.

"Dessa, I swear to you that I wasn't thinking that and I'll never do it."

"Never again Fox Mulder! Don't you dare scare me like that ever again!"

Dessa's feeling in what she had said had touched Fox, but he also was the smallest bit annoyed that she had totally missed the point of his question. Dessa also had grown very protective of Fox in the past few months, and both of them took comfort in that fact. He'd never really been taken care of like that, even by his mother, for as long as he could remember. Dessa loved to give out the attention; it made her feel needed in a whole different way that she had experienced before. 

"Dessa." He said, putting his large hand over Dessa's small one, "I didn't mean to scare you…. I never meant to." 

"I know, it's just …don't ever think like that! You're got too much to live for, you bloody hear me?"  she replied quietly

The truth was that Dessa wanted to say that she wanted him to live for her if anything, but she didn't say that because she didn't want to make it seem like she had romantic feelings for him…even though she was in a state of confusion over one Fox Mulder.

"I bloody hear you." he said laughing at both himself for being so incredibly stupid and at Dessa for being so serious. He still found her extremely attractive, but now he also realized how caring she really could be. Fox understood that there was more than met the eye when it came to Dessa.

"I have a surprise for you tomorrow. I think you'll like it."

"Really now?" he asked, raising and lowering his eyebrows in a suggestive manor, just to make her smile

"Get your mind out of the gutter. I was thinking about making a Thanksgiving dinner for you, since you won't be home for the holiday."

Fox couldn't believe what he was hearing. He never really thought about Dessa romantically before that moment, but now, he started to see her in a whole different light. He had always known that there was something about her that had intrigued him from the moment he saw her grey eyes. 

"Dessa, I really don't know what to say."

"Thank you would suffice nicely I think."

"Thank you."

The two of them sat in the tranquil quiet of the apartment for a few moments trying to figure the other one out. They had been trying to do so for several weeks now, and they were no closer to that goal then when they first started. Dessa had never really gone out with anymore before. She was too busy with other things to worry herself with boyfriends and all the baggage that tended to come with it. Besides, she reasoned, there would always be a tomorrow. Quickly she removed the thought from her mind. Fox was her friend, solely her friend. 

"Dessa?"

"Hmmmm…"

"What's your middle name?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"You've never told me what it is, and I am curious."

"You tell me yours first."

"William."

"Really?"

"Really. What were you expecting?" 

"I don't know, something other than what it is."

"So tell me your middle name."

"Evelyn, Dessa Evelyn Edwards." 

"I like it, honestly."

"I never really have, but what can I bloody do about it, right?"

"Consider my first name though, Dessa. Evelyn is wonderful compared to Fox."

"It suits you, Fox William Mulder."

Very subconsciously she let the name Dessa Evelyn Mulder float into her mind. After all, what could it harm?

"Well, Dessa Evelyn, I should get going," He said looking at his watch "I have a psychology exam tomorrow, and I want to do some last minute cramming."

They both got up from the floor and walked over to the wooden door.

"Good night, Fox. See you tomorrow, bright and early."

"Get some beauty rest, you could use some."

"Shut up handsome." 

She shut the door in his face and once she heard him laugh and walk down the hall, Dessa breathed again. Sighing she walked back to her bedroom, undoing her ballet style bun as she did so. Tonight was going to be spent dreaming about tomorrow's dinner.


	5. Chapter Three Presentation

Dessa got to the lecture hall at nine forty-five, fifteen minutes early for the class. She liked to get to places early when at all possible, but with today's impending presentation, she found it almost critical. By the time she got to her seat she realized that he wasn't there, nor were his things, and she became worried.

"Lord, Fox, why do you do this to me?" she mumbled to 

She sat down in her seat for a moment, going through all the things that could be keeping him from being there with her. First she thought that he had fallen ill, but she reasoned out that he would have told her so last night or called her earlier. Then she thought that he was calling his family, but ruled that out because it was the middle of the night on the East Coast and that Fox and his family didn't talk. 

Finally, five minutes before class started, Fox came and sat next to Dessa. She, by this point had become a total mess and had her head down on the table and her hair splayed over her arms. 

"Dessa, you okay?"

"Where were you?" she asked as she brought her head up "You had me worried that I would have to do this alone!"

Dessa hated public speaking, and although she didn't admit it to anyone, she was terrified of this presentation. She woke up three times the previous night trying to recall facts and formulas.

"My roommate decided to turn off the alarm so that he wouldn't wake his girlfriend up. I got up like twenty minutes ago, honestly. I'm sorry that I couldn't get here any earlier."

"It's fine, I understand. Elise tended to do the same thing when Watson was over." 

"Who names their kid Watson?" he asked, trying to lighten Dessa's mood

"Apparently Mister and Missus Watty."

"Your roommate dated a Watson Watty?"

"The fourth. He was something else too, you know the kind who are allergic to everything?"

"I wish I could have met him."

Dessa could almost feel the tension build and build in her like a mammoth wall going up from her stomach. The butterflies that she had last night had turned into birds that seemed to feed on her anxiousness. Fox on the other hand seemed to be doing quite fine, to Dessa. He was staring off at the poster on the wall about the mathematician Hypatia.

"Fox?"

. "What, you feeling okay?" he asked since the color of her face had drained away and she looked shaky.

"I really don't want to do this… I really don't think that I can. I hate public speaking ever since I fell on my face walking up the front of the class when I was nine."

Just then the professor came in and walked up to her spot at the front of the class. Her hair was mussed and she looked like she had hastily put herself together.

"Looks like good 'ole Emma just got done seeing Liam." Fox said, smiling. He really didn't know how to help her, humor had always been his remedy when things went wrong.

"As in Professor Liam Harold?"

           "Exactly."   
             Dessa was quiet for a second, trying to let her nerves calm down. She knew that she'd be fine when the presentation was over and she got back to her seat. Slowly she sat up and took a deep breath. Fox put his hand on the small of her back and started to rub in soft circles, trying to make her relax. He did this all through the opening presentation, and only really started to pay attention when the professor started to introduce them.

            All throughout the presentation, Dessa carried herself with grace and confidence. Fox was impressed, himself not even being able to tell that she was terrified. Her piercing green eyes never gave a hint of the slightest distress, and her nervous habit of clicking her nails together was notably absent. She took charge, leading the presentation like she was the most natural teacher in the world. From start to finish, she covered every theory and put everything in the simplest terms so that it was easy to understand the underlying concepts.

Afterwards, when she and Fox sat down in their seats, and Dessa closed her eyes and let her head go back, so her face was up to the ceiling. Silently she was thanking the heavens that she and Fox had gotten though it, and even got a "congratulations and job well done" from the professor. For the rest of the lesson Dessa tried to help her partner take notes and explain things in whispers, but the truth was that she was far more concerned with the dinner tonight than with calculus and its real world applications.

      When the lesson was done an hour later, Dessa got up, put on her coat and started walk to the exit.

       "Where are you going?" he asked, startled by her sudden departure

          "Just outside, I could really use some air. Like I said, I really don't do presentations."

           They walked out into the main corridor and down the hall to the stairs that ended in the main lobby of the building. 

           "You were great, I even understood what you were talking about."

           "I really dumbed it down that much?" she asked, teasing him

          The air was crisp outside, and Dessa let her chin sink deeper into her black and beige winter coat. She had never been one for the cold, but it didn't bother Fox at all. She reasoned that it was because the winters were just colder where he grew up, and since this was shaping up to be a cold winter, she was feeling it more. Then again, she thought, she could just be a wimp.

      "What time should I come over tonight?"

      "My last class ends at four thirty, what about you?" Dessa asked, digging her hands deeper into her pockets

        "Five"

        Dessa thought for a moment. She would get home a bit before five, and she would have to start cooking the second she got home. Factoring that in, and the fact that she wanted to look nice for tonight, she reasoned that seven would be okay."

       "Is around seven fine for you? If that's too late, I mean we can bump it up to six or six thirty."

        "Sounds good, should I bring anything?" His first inclination would be to bring a case of beer over, but then he thought that this was going to be a nice dinner, and he figured that Dessa might be accustomed to  finer tastes he instead asked "Wine perhaps?"

            "What ever you think to be best. I hate to run, but I need to go home before my World Lit class and get the turkey from the deep freeze to defrost a bit. See you at seven then?"

            "Yeah."

She gave him a quick hug and started to leave to where she put her bike during the math class. Dessa smiled to herself, knowing that now with the presentation out of the way, she could focus on what she really wanted to, tonight. She wasn't going to seduce him, but she was going to definitely up the ante some. As Dessa's form got smaller and smaller, Fox couldn't help but be mesmerized by her. She was the best thing that had happen to him in a long, long time. Everything about her was special, right down to the way she walked, talked, and put him under her spell from the first time that they had ever met. 


End file.
